Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Randomize
