I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
