Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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