IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
