Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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