Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
