So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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