can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
My ass is underappreciated
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
