You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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