Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
