Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Is this like a preordered booty call?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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