just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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