Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize