she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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