covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
