I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
