During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize