Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
