Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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