he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
