Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
