I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize