i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Why is your signature on my underwear?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Randomize
