omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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