this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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