dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Randomize