420 ftw
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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