tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
We're too hungover to prance.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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