Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
