Pappa wants mamma naked
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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