You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Less talking, more tequila
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize