I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
