and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
