Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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