census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
