just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
