I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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