I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
