so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
