you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
