No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
