Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
