Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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