I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
