I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
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