So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
