I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize