i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
