you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
