She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Even the bartender felt bad for me
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
