You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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