I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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