We won't sleep together?
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
