Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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