my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
