Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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