I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
