even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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